Foot falls and hockey

I've always been curious about wait times at the Queensway Carleton Hospital.
Intrepid reporter that I am, I decided to investigate, kick loose some dirt on Ottawa's west end hospital, and in doing so get a leg up on my blog-writing competition.
But how to penetrate the veil of secrecy?
Clearly this called for an inside job.
I needed an injury, and I needed one quick.
Relying on my boss's renowned temper and his love of soccer, I insulted his favourite team in the English Premier League.
"Chelsea is a girl's name," I told him.
He looked up from the doughnut he was munching.
"What?"
"I said, 'Chelsea is a girl's name.'"
"So?"
"The Chelsea Soccer Football Club is named after a girl. Chelsea."
"OK."
Not working. Time for a new tactic.
"I like Arsenal's chances this year," I said.
One broken foot and an ambulance ride later, I was sitting in the waiting room of the Queensway Carleton, surrounded by a motley collection of men, women and children of all ages, all either groaning, or clutching various body parts or both.
Like a casting call for a circus freak movie or Night of the Living Dead part whatever.
The room was quiet except for minimal chatter and the sound of some middle age guy slurping his Tim Horton's coffee, farting and snorting. Did I mention he sat across from me.
The nursing staff at emergency were clearly overwhelmed with the Family Day traffic of sickies.
"We're way behind," said the nurse who took my health card information. "You won't see a doctor for at least another hour."
Wonderful.
One hour later, a mechanical voice read my name over the emergency room PA system.
I went to the registry station, where a nurse gave my foot a cursory examination.
"That must hurt," she said.
"Why, yes. Yes it does," I replied, with a courageous yet devil may care grin on my face.
"What happened?"
"I said Arsenal had a good shot in the playoffs this year."
"Oh. Well then."
I was sent to the cubicle section. And I waited.
The doctor looked at my foot and directed me to the X-Ray room.
Where I waited.
To make a long story short, I spent a little over four hours from start to diagnosis, in the hospital merry go round -- this isn't a shot at the staff, they did a great job processing a huge number of people with what looked like inadequate staff.
My experience was not unusual one member of the hospital staff told me -- wait times at emergency are usually long.

Hockey talk:
Intriguing possible trade:
Emery for Khabibulin
#2 pick (2008 draft), Zubov, Meszaros for Foote and Peca
What about a package deal with Chicago that brought both Khabibulin and Havlat.
Bryan Murray and John Paddock have both said all season long that the Sens need to get bigger, a little more bangers to go with the mash, hopefully a power forward and some players with Stanley Cup experience.
Murray has also said that he's not looking at upgrading his goaltending.
But goaltending wins Cups -- and right now Emery and Gerber don't fit the bill.
Is Mr. Bulin the answer?
Hossa would be a nice addition, but I don't believe Ottawa can afford the price.
The Sens need to upgrade on size and grit if they want to compete with Anaheim, who will likely emerge from the west conference, in the Stanley Cup playoffs.
Power forward, reliable goaltender, help on defence and two balanced scoring lines could equal a visit from Lord Stanley.

Pick-up lines and hockey talk

Spring turns a young man's fancy towards thoughts of love.
Valentine's Day, on the other hand, turns ones thoughts to cheezy pick-up lines.
Some goodies:
* Haaay, baybee, hcow abowt a hamm sanwich? (taken from a SCTV skit).
* Guy: What's your sign?
Significant other, with bored sneer on face: Exit.
Guy: So I guess that mean's we'll be leaving together at the end of the night.
* Well, I'm here. What are your other two wishes.
Well, you get the idea.
As I type this, my fellow employees are feverishly working on Valentines for me.
I told them that I allow cards, but I draw the line at flowers.

Sens trade deadline update:
Murray made a great trade, pulling the trigger on a deal that brought Mike Commodore and Cory Stillman to the Sens, while only surrendering the defensively-challenged Joe Corvo and third-liner Patrick Eaves.
I wonder if Murray sent a Valentine's Day card to Peter Forsberg?
Hint hint: we love you Foppa.
Murray is rumoured to be also casting admiring glances towards Dan Boyle -- great mobile Ottawa-born defenseman, who could potentially replace Redden at the end of the year.
Hopefully the Sens GM can pick up a big power forward to skate on a line with Spezza and Heatley.
I wonder where Sundin will eventually end up, and Hossa for that matter -- I'm thinking Vancouver and Montreal are the front runners.
Ollie Kolzig might be a good pick-up for Ottawa for the Cup run, if Washington is pushed out of the playoff race.

True story: It's rumoured that a community newspaper employee somewhere in the Ontario area quit their job recently because the paper pulled their story over complaints from an advertiser.
Nice.
Thank goodness, community newspapers aren't all like that particular chain.
I'll end this blog by wishing you all a happy V-day, and you can send me electronic V-D cards, adressed to this blog.
I know this is the year that cute little red-haired girl finally sends me a card . . .

Sens trade talk

Only a few weeks left until the NHL trade deadline.
And little -- make that no movement.
The Ottawa Senators window on winning a Stanley Cup grows shorter every year, as we only have a few more years left of an overpowering Daniel Alfredsson.
2008 is once again the Year of the Duck.
Two strong offensive lines anchored by the smothering Pahlsson-Moen-Niedermayer checking trio coupled with the best defense in hockey equals another Senators loss in the finals.
If we even make it that far.
The Senators head towards the trade deadline with four items on their shopping list: a power forward, a second-line centre, a physical defenceman and a goaltender.
Realistically, the team must rely on Emery or Gerber to elevate their game -- not a lot of quality starters available right now -- $6.5 million for the overrated Khabibulin is just stupid.
As for a centre, forget Forsberg, he's headed for Philadelphia.
Possibilities: trade for Cammalleri, Prospal, or even Comrie.
The pickings are pretty slim.
And then there's Sundin and Hossa (winger).
But those are longshots -- and I don't think the Sens are trying to land a star forward.
Ottawa could snag a great power forward by dealing Corvo to the Hurricanes for Eric Cole.
What do you think about dealing a prospect and a pick for Darcy Tucker to play on our first or second line?
Foote, Blake, Stuart and Barrett Jackman are probably the best targets for defence.
The question remains -- will the trade market dry up the closer we head to the deadline.
And is Murray willing to overpay to get his man (men)?

Mighty Sampson is shorn

An old friend recently returned from Costa Rica minus his beard -- not just any beard.
This was a fine mane of cheek-hair that rustled gently in the wind as he walked through the office. Now only his jowls rustle and his chin is as smooth as a baby's behind.
It's as if some crazed barber invaded the Serengeti, seized our proud Simba and cut Samson's locks -- not to say that our now bald lion was ever mighty in the bicep and strong of thigh -- but the shaving of Reid has altered his image.
Like ripping the goatee from Lenin.
Sad it is.
Which brings to mind the question, just what is our delocked priest hiding?
This question should apply to all our proud men who choose to shave their goatees.
Really makes you think . . .

Blog young man blog

This is a test.
This is only a test.
Well, it's also my inaugural blog -- I like the word inaugural: fancy way of saying first.
I don't really have a topic, so I'll just use this INAUGURAL blog to shout out to all my peeps (master of cliches and popular slang) Cher, Carleton Place Tommy and the Nevmeister.
Neighbourhood roundup of hot topics in Ottawa:
1. Ray Emery or a bag of hockey pucks. Equivalent trade value?
2. NCC bridge study. Is a west-end crossing going a bridge to far for Ottawa residents?
(The answer is . . . YES. Waste of time and taxpayers money to even look at the idea.)
3. Terry Fox Drive -- Will they ever complete it? Or is it the elusive holy grail of inter-Kanata transit?
4. People from Cornwall, should they be allowed to work in Ottawa?
5. Winter. Who is responsible?